The best thing you can do is once you find out that they are abusive is leave them. Being a female and an ex police officer they only get more abusive so get out early when you find out. You will find a nice guy sooner or later.
If a man says that he is a MASOGENIST. Get away!!!! I have dated a man that said this to me and all he did was put me down. I could not do anything right and I was beneath him. Get away and avoid him like the plague.
well the only way to handle an abusive man is to just get out! Plain and simple. that is the only way to stop that from happening... usually in that kind of relationship you will get the bad end always and may wind up hurt or even dead! happens everyday