Question by  sabredog (50)

How do you deal with a blended family after a divorce?

I will soon remarry after getting divorced five years ago, I am concerned about how to blend the two families, I have two children and he has three.


Answer by  patti (29325)

There are many ways to handle it. The most important thing is to establish how you and your new spouse will handle it BEFORE you remarry. It is not a good idea to remarry until you resolve all concerns and the two of you agree on policies regarding the children as part of one family, not two.

posted by Anonymous
discuss with extended family what is expected and see if they are supportive of and accepting of the new children that will be brought in to the point of not distinguishing between. if not, figure out how to deal beforehand or do NOT marry. kids shouldn't lose more loved ones.  add a comment

Answer by  Roland27 (16334)

You cannot expect his kids to respect you as a mother and you can't expect yours to treat him like a father. Don't try to parent each others kids. It's going to take time for them to adjust. For now just parent the kids that are biologically yours.


Answer by  twest (28)

The best way to blend 2 families with children is for both parents to treat all children the same. All children must feel as if they are equal in the family. Neither parent can have favorites or treat their own children any different from the other parents children.


Answer by  Anonymous

discuss expectations with extended family and be ready if/when they are not fully supportive to your "equality" requirement towards kids. your kids shouldn't lose over your selfish desire to be together. figure out how to deal with it without harming the kids relationship with loved ones or don't marry.


Answer by  barkley (951)

Recommend you and your spouse agree before the marriage on how to treat the children and do it consistently, premarital counseling would probably be very helpful in sorting this out.

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