I am sorry to tell you this, but there is absolutely NO WAY that you can ask for money in a wedding invitation. Your only recourse is to tell all close friends and family that you prefer cash to presents. Even this is dangerous, depending on who you tell.
posted by Anonymous
This isn\'t true. We added a small card into the envelope that had a beautiful poem indicating that we would appreciate a small donation of money which our guests preferred. Poems are available online. The poem we chose was about a wishing well. add a comment
Reply by
malone (4817):
Elaine is exactly right on this one. You can spread the word through family or friends who will be asked "where are they registered?" But you NEVER EVER ask for gifts, money or otherwise, under any circumstances. Totally classless. add a comment
Reply by
malone (4817):
What Elaine said most certainly IS true. What you did was tacky, classless and tasteless. I would imagine that people are still talking about it. add a comment
posted by Anonymous
I have been to many weddings and have seen it all - people generally understand that money is better than gifts, and putting a small poem together to indicated your wish for $ as gifts has been done and is absolutely fine! add a comment
posted by Anonymous
Malone, I believe that YOU are the one who is tacky and tasteless, and it is probably very well known to NOT invite you to any event! add a comment
posted by Anonymous
only ignorant people will react the way you are reacting regarding money request.... add a comment
posted by Anonymous
It seems typical I suppose, that those who clearly don't know/understand etiquette are the first and loudest to complain that it shouldn't apply because it's 2011. Class is ALWAYS in style, even if it's not popular with Bratty Bridezillas at your trailer park. Smart folks LEARN what they don't know. add a comment
posted by Anonymous
you're just being honest. it is okay to ask for a money than gifts. add a comment
posted by Anonymous
I wrote on my wedding invitations monetary gift preffered and greatly appreciated! And it was a success! I do not see anything wrong with that and neither did my guest. In fact they found it easier then going shopping for something! add a comment
It is rude to ask for any kind of gift, especially money. It is inappropriate to include language of any kind regarding gifts. Tell close friends and family that you prefer cash; invited guests will likely ask them what you would like/need, and the word will get around.
posted by Anonymous
Then why do companies give you cards to put in your invitation to tell people where you are registered? add a comment
posted by Anonymous
Because companies are trying to sell ANYTHING that will get them money. That is not, however, why people have weddings... apparently much to the surprise of many of the "Dude, manners suck" people posting. add a comment
posted by Anonymous
So it's OK to tell your guests where you are registered at and what "gifts" you would like them to purchase, but it's NOT OK to ask for cash donations? This makes no sense to me. Why do a gift registry for items that you more then likely don't need? add a comment
Never Never Never refer to a gift in a wedding invitation. It is the poorest of taste! A wedding invitation is NOT a solicitation for a gift, it is an invitation to an event.
posted by Anonymous
Goodness. Take a chill pill. From what it appears, most people want to give a gift or expect to give a gift. Just making it easier for both the giver and the receiver.
My goodness. Hence registries! If they were that tacky, I doubt they would exist! add a comment
posted by Anonymous
Seriously, "Take a pill" :) - if you come to a wedding without a gift that's in poor taste - and if the couple asks for money vs gift, its so much easier on both you and them - find a nice way to ask, taht's all. add a comment
Let close family & friends know you'd prefer cash, but do not mention preferences in the formal invitations. In fact, the matter of gifts should not be raised on invitations in any way, other than a separate note if you have a gift register. Gifts are always at guests' discretion.
Although it is that guests bring a gift, the POINT of inviting people to your event is to share it with those you care for. Expecting gifts is presumptuous, telling them WHAT to get, particularly CASH is tacky beyond imagination. Etiquette means nothing to Bridezilla's though. it's all about them.
You could mention to family and friends that you would prefer cash, but don't make any mention of gifts on the formal invitation, cash or otherwise. The only appropriate mention of gifts is a separate note giving details of gift register, but gifts are always at guests' discretion.
If you're gonna be so hard up for cash, did it cross your mind to scale back the wedding, and have a downpayment for a house instead of one of those crazy three ring circuses of a wedding I keep seeing lately. Over-the-top, white trash weddings seem the norm now...
It is considered rude (not just tacky) to bring up gifts at all in your invitations. Instead, make mention of it on your weddnig website or ask your parents, bridesmaids and groomsmen to spread the word for you.
posted by Anonymous
I've been to weddings with an Elvis impersonator, and where the bride insisted everyone wear swimsuits... just because someone DOES something doesn't mean it isn't bad manners and judgement. Maybe they should just text all the invites - it's convenient, and I'm sure someones done it, so it's ok, right?! add a comment
posted by Anonymous
Then don't do it for your wedding, but your comment is not answering the question this person asked add a comment
posted by Anonymous
Neither is your's Einstein... but again, it's ok if YOU do it, even while complaining that others ARE... Gawd, the egos and ignorance. Terrible. add a comment
A wedding is a celebration shared with friends and family. Don't turn it into a fundraiser. There's no good way you can ask for money in the invitation. Mere mention of gifts is too tacky and rude. Have your posse spread the word. Don't take the easy but tasteless route.
posted by Anonymous
Agreed. People can delude themselves all they like about the propriety of it, but I hope they understand that even if they never hear it directly, everyone that reads a note asking for cash will immediately think, HOW TACKY! They'll assume they're only invited for the gift they'll bring. Yuk! add a comment
While personal gifts of household items or sentimental pieces are greatly appreciated, we are currently saving for our a home and we would greatly welcome monetary gifts; it will hopefully save you time and hassle in shopping, as well as help us reach our goal more quickly. Thank you in advance for any and all contributions; they're much appreciated.
posted by Anonymous
This is realy helpful! I am using it in my invitation and think that it is very tasteful! add a comment
Reply by
malone (4817):
It is coarse, tacky and rude to ask for a gift of any kind under any circumstances for any reason whatsoever. Etiquette is out the window on this one. It's a pity that no one is taught manners anymore. add a comment
In your invitations, be honest and give options. You could say "In lieu of gifts, we are requesting either a monetary donation to our new home fund or a donation to ________ charity." That way people have a choice and you do not look tacky!
Reply by
malone (4817):
Oh please. Since when is asking for gifts NOT tacky? You are confusing this with a funeral announcement: "in lieu of flowers," which is entirely different. ASKING for a gift of any kind is merely and only a demonstration of a total lack of manners and class. add a comment
posted by Anonymous
Thankful we don't have friends like you that would judge anyone as TACKY or CLASSLESS!!!! add a comment
posted by Anonymous
Agreed, 100%... just because people who don't know better don't see a problem doesn't make it appropriate. People who *DO* have manners will read the invite and find it greedy and classless. Bridezillas don't care though. Odds are they'll divorce in 3 years and selling the trailer, anyway. Why worry? add a comment
posted by Anonymous
When going to a wedding you are expected to bring a gift or money. I do not feel it is tacky to state that gifts are much appreciated although monetary gift is peffered. I have a bride and groom who are travelling home to be married and this is acceptable. add a comment
In the olden days when I was first married it was an Italian tradition to have a money tree at the wedding reception. You should put in your invitation that you will have a money tree available for those guest wishing to contribute cash to the tree in lew of gifts. Who knows, you might restart this old tradition.
Reply by
malone (4817):
That tradition continues to this day. It is NOT announced in the invitation, however. Asking for presents screams I HAVE NO MANNERS! add a comment
People say it isn't polite to ask for money on your wedding invitations, I believe it is a wonderful idea. I would state it as follows: "The bridal couple will not be having a bridal shower, but any monetary gifts would be greatly appreciated to help the happy couple start their new lift together." Place at bottom of invitation.
posted by Anonymous
instead of adding store registry card add a card that says. Beacuse we have had a home for several years now we would like to ask for only monetary gifts at this time monetary gifts would be greatly apprciated. add a comment
Reply by
malone (4817):
A bridal shower is not announced on the wedding invitation. According to your plan, why not just include a PayPal address and get it over with? add a comment
A lot of guests will appreciate this, instead of having to choose a gift. We did it for our wedding and it was very successful. Don't feel embarrassed, we hired a small wishing well and put a poem in our envelope to tell our guests etc
posted by Anonymous
If I find a gift a hassle, or a problem, I give a gift card, check the registry, or just give cash on my own. I don't need a goofy poem to make me consider common sense. God, weddings are such ridiculously overblown complex spectacles now. Feel the love... not! add a comment
I have been to a few weddings where they did what was called Dollar a dance. You give the bride or groom a dollar to dance with them. Everyone had a blast!
The newlyweds are seeking to save up for a home of their own in the near future. In lieu of gifts, they would appreciate contributions toward a down payment. These gifts are both tax deductible and toward the long term well being of the couple.
Reply by
malone (4817):
Not only do you lack breeding and manners, you also missed class the day they taught Tax Deductions. Here's a clue: wedding gifts are NOT tax deductible. Good grief. add a comment
posted by Anonymous
Malone, Your probably not married and I don't really understand why you keep arguing with people on here but it is of no help whatsoever. Calm down and when you have a wedding, come back on here and say what you want. You sound hideous!!!!!!! add a comment
posted by Anonymous
Wedding gifts are NOT tax deductible. What planet are you on? It's one thing to be tacky and beg for cash, but there's no need to deceive people with false claims. Par for the course for internet advice, though. add a comment
posted by Anonymous
Tax deductible!? You're joking right? add a comment
Its 2011 People!! I have been to a few weddings and i don't find it disrespectful that the couples have asked for monetary gifts instead of anyother gifts that at the end they are gong to return or give away!! i think its a great idea!!
posted by Anonymous
It's 2011! Etiquette and courtesy mean NOTHING! It's about Bridezilla, and weddings AREN'T about sharing your day with those you love - it's about the gift's, the money and ME, ME, ME! It's so comforting to know that being a selfish bag of ego is acceptable because it's 2011. add a comment
Search online for wording and customize. I'd rather you use my $ than give away the toaster I'm gifting you. Perhaps in 1803 it was rude to insinuate a money tree. Don't be so blatant about tho. U might offend Victorians sensibilities. Ugh.
I believe this person asked a way to work it, not your opinions on the matter! If you think its tacky then dont do it in your wedding, but you dont need to be rude and annoying.
Why all the fuss, all I will say is the only way you will be polite is by giving your guests more than one option, have a wishing well at your reception and a gift box or table. As for putting it in the invite, that is tricky.
i want to no has anyone got any poems to add to the invite for a christening for my son, i want to ask for money instead of presents as he is 2yrs old and has everything, cant find any on the web for christenings . help
Reply by
malone (4817):
If he has everything, what does he need cash for? The reason you "cant find any on the web" is because the entire notion is tacky and classless. add a comment
posted by Anonymous
If he's two years old and has everything, tell guests you'd appreciate "their presence in lieu of gifts" on the invite. It would be pathetically obvious cash is for the parents, NOT the two year old, anyway. Are you sharing your day, or just looking to score a few bucks? add a comment
posted by Anonymous
Ok, Why do you people think it is always tacky and classless to ask for money. Maybe she could use the money towards their future for school, buying a car, buying a house when they are older. I would rather save the money then people buy toys. add a comment
how do i word i want money for my son's christening instead of presents as he is 2yrs old & has everything, im putting either a wishing well or a treasure chest at the enrty door of the reception? please help
My daughter is turning 16. We're having a sweet 16th party. I'll rather have people give her money than trying to buy her something that she doesn't like. I thought of inserting a little card requesting "Shower of envelopes are Melanie's wish" is that too tacky and rude ? suggestions
Reply by
malone (4817):
Extremely tacky and rude. Wait for people to call and ask for ideas. Then say your daughter is saving for a (XYZ) and perhaps the caller would like to contribute to that effort. add a comment
posted by Anonymous
Why do I have the feeling it's *YOUR* wish, not Melanie's...? Etiquette is truly dead. sad. add a comment
Malone...if you can't say anything nice, or indeed helpful, you should really just keep out of the chat rooms. You're a bit of a bully really. That's not exactly good etiquette either...is it?
This isn\'t true. We added a small card into the envelope that had a beautiful poem indicating that we would appreciate a small donation of money which our guests preferred. Poems are available online. The poem we chose was about a wishing well. add a comment
Elaine is exactly right on this one. You can spread the word through family or friends who will be asked "where are they registered?" But you NEVER EVER ask for gifts, money or otherwise, under any circumstances. Totally classless. add a comment
What Elaine said most certainly IS true. What you did was tacky, classless and tasteless. I would imagine that people are still talking about it. add a comment
I have been to many weddings and have seen it all - people generally understand that money is better than gifts, and putting a small poem together to indicated your wish for $ as gifts has been done and is absolutely fine! add a comment
Malone, I believe that YOU are the one who is tacky and tasteless, and it is probably very well known to NOT invite you to any event! add a comment
only ignorant people will react the way you are reacting regarding money request.... add a comment
It seems typical I suppose, that those who clearly don't know/understand etiquette are the first and loudest to complain that it shouldn't apply because it's 2011. Class is ALWAYS in style, even if it's not popular with Bratty Bridezillas at your trailer park. Smart folks LEARN what they don't know. add a comment
you're just being honest. it is okay to ask for a money than gifts. add a comment
I wrote on my wedding invitations monetary gift preffered and greatly appreciated! And it was a success! I do not see anything wrong with that and neither did my guest. In fact they found it easier then going shopping for something! add a comment
agree add a comment